PADI is my shephard
I shall not want to cross over to NAUI
They maketh me dive in quarries and ponds
before I am allowed to dive where I want
The LDS they refill my tanks
and lead me to the best paths to find choice dives
For my own sanity’s sake
Yea though I swim through the valley of the shadow of death
I shall fear no cartilaginous fish,
for my dive buddy is a slower swimmer than I
His gut and lack of streamlining they comfort me
DAN prepares a recompression chamber for me in the presence of mine enemy
They pump me full of oxygen
so that my blood does not bubbleth over
Surely I will have learned a lesson that will follow me
all the days of my life
So that I will not have to revisit the chamber ever again
AMEN